A Mom’s Job Description in Real Life

A job with zero salary, no health insurance, no sick leave, no coffee breaks, and absolutely no retirement plan. Sounds like the punchline to a dark HR joke, right? Wrong. It’s a real position. And it’s been filled for centuries, often by a woman wearing last week’s leggings, a tired smile, and an uncanny ability to locate missing socks with psychic precision.

Welcome to the world’s most demanding job: Mom – always hiring, forever rehiring, and always underappreciated until Mother’s Day rolls around and someone buys her a mug that says “#1 Mom.”

Let’s take a stroll down the résumé of this all-encompassing role, shall we?

Position Type: Full-Time (24/7). That’s right. Your office is everywhere – from the kitchen floor to the emergency room at 2 AM. Your break room? Nonexistent. Your coworkers? Crying, sticky-fingered CEOs of chaos.

Compensation: A generous $0/year, but at least you get paid in hugs, glitter-covered art pieces, and passive-aggressive teen eye rolls.

Job Duties Include:

1. Chef: Because someone must answer the eternal question, “What’s for dinner?” with precision without offending anyone.
2. Nurse: Including but not limited to fever-induced 3 a.m. cuddle clinics and Band-Aid application ceremonies.
3. Therapist: You’re now fluent in decoding sobs and angst with a minor in heartbreak management.
4. Teacher: From ABCs to “where babies come from” to “why we don’t lick the dog.”
5. Referee: Sibling fights, toy disputes, and who-touched-who-without-permission investigations.
6. Judge: From deciding “who licked the sugar” and “who broke the new set of cups.”
7. Cheerleader: Every step, every award, every scraped knee. You clap even when you’re exhausted enough to collapse.
8. Financial Manager: Budgeting with coins found in the couch and magic money you pull out for school trips you heard about that morning.

And the best part? Qualifications: No experience necessary – because you’ll learn on the job while being judged by society, the internet, and that know-it-all aunty who raised a “team of soccer players.”

Yet, despite all this, they show up. Moms don’t clock in, and they never clock out. They don’t unionize, and there’s no HR department to report your emotional breakdown over spilled milk. They do it because love, unconditional, fierce, and frustrating, love, has a weird way of giving you just enough strength to keep going when you’re running on fumes and reheated coffee.

So, on this Mother’s Day, let’s raise a glass (or a sippy cup) to the world’s most demanding job. A job that turns ordinary women into legends. A job that comes with no manual but a heart full of instinct.

To the moms who do it all, and somehow, still answer to “Muuummm!” without running into the forest barefoot – we see you. We appreciate you. We still won’t pay you, but we might let you take a quick short nap today.

Maybe.